Category Archives: Connection

Mistakes were made

A very short story

“She said no,” he said as he walked into the bar.  His friends gave out a communal sigh of deflation. “She said never,” he said.

“She doesn’t know what she’s missing,” John said. “She said never,” he repeated.

John patted his back with the thunderous confidence of a real pal. “She doesn’t know what she’s missing.”

He looked sheepish. He said, “She does. She knows what she’s missing.” He had allowed a sob to escape.

“She doesn’t want me,” he said with a mix of pain and surprise.

John said, “The waitress likes you. She’ll say yes.” The friends settled into weekday chit-chat and more beer.

A few weeks passed like this, with John urging him to move on, and he calling upon her rejection. The bar was quieter. Again, he said, “She said never.“

A girl, if girls can be in their late 30s, walked over to the table. John nodded to the friends to step away. The girl sat without asking.

He found himself laughing. They ordered burgers and a salad to share. “She has great teeth,” he said to himself. “I mean, I like her smile.”

“Where do you live,” the girl asked, “I’ll come make you supper Friday night.”

He demurred. “Are you sure?” The girl nodded. “I’m a good plain cook. I’ll make fish on Friday. Fish and rice.”

Sheila stopped him on the street. “You’ve recovered. Quickly,” she said.

“You said never,” he said. Sheila said, “Never is a long time. I meant not now, not then.”

“You recovered quickly,” Sheila said again. “Never,” he said.

Sheila reached over to adjust an errant curl on his forehead. He said, “You said no.” Sheila kissed his cheek lightly, familiarly as she turned to walk away.

Fight fire

For those traumatized by the blazing forestland in New Jersey and California, the appeal of flames rising is probably gone.

Fire can also be a metaphor. Fire in the belly signifies ambition and the Doors sang of stoking desire.

There is passing the torch, a  tradition exemplified in Paris this summer. Fire also captures the idea in getting burned [or its alter ego, not].

Fires give heat and light. The campfire is benign and contained and well-loved. Fires can rage, giving birth to an angry modality.

Pastel crayons are waxy. I also used red pencil for definition and outline.

Our art therapy/connection group used it as a metaphor symbolic of what moves and inspires us. 

Mine kind of, you know, “wrote itself.”

A collage occupied me while we did our introductions. I was multitasking.

Leisure time

What is your favorite hobby or pastime?

Pasttimes are crucial to keeping us involved. Hobbies often augment and eventually replace work in our lives.

Leisure activities become the “what we do” when we retire from our jobs.

For some of us, the bowling league runs parallel to our paycheck activity. It might be karaoke Tuesday that makes your week even while you’re still going to a 9-to-5.

Some of us are serious about physical endeavors, like preparing for a marathon or biking new trails.

I enjoy my classes at the gym alongside long chats with friends over lunch or coffee. Or just like that- even if we communicate by that new-fangled texting thing.

I consider writing my actual occupation now. I feel as if this is what I have grown into and prepared for in all my years past.

I have landed on a true pasttime to pass my time.

Connecting

Describe one habit that brings you joy.

The topic was conversation and connection on Melissa Kirsch’s NYT The Morning. She called it Easy Listening. I felt the tug of  connection when her trip home took her past Worcester.

She kept going as you have to from Maine to New York.

There was more geography to recognize. Worcester, however, was where I spent four [plus] years. Formative, informing years I might add. It’s where I went to college. It’s where I learned how to grow up.

Melissa Kirsch’s rental car took me back to a kind of beginning.

To bring us back on topic, it’s the habit of reminiscing that brings me joy. 

I have a habit of taking another’s experience as a jumping off point to recall some of mine.

Makes me feel happy and, yes, connected.