New “things”

It’s become a thing to go out in punlic in our p.j.s- not just our sweats.

ET may well have to phone home but only if a UFO hasn’t blocked his signal.

Speaking of UFOs, the “cartoonist” in me envisions this: an alien real estate agent guides a group of alien clients through the earth’s atmosphere. “As you can see it’s a fixer-upper. The last owners really trashed the place.”

It’s World Hippo Day. Congrats to the hippopotamuses out there. Call me on Rhinoceros day (credit: Mr. Ionesco).

Article 6

There’s a guarantee built into the Constitution of the United States that the newly constituted federation will pay any debts it had incurred before the founding of the Republic.

This clause brings to question why paying our duly acquired debts has become a near-yearly drama.

As Benny (Joseph Buloff) from Somebody Up There Likes Me says “pay the check.”

A little bit of knowledge

Fruit

There are facts that ennoble the mind and those that simply amuse. The quarterly Laphams provides both enlightenment and embellishments.

In the latest edition, the riff on how to categorize tomatoes was charming. Who could have thought that this linguistic distinction was subject to a lawsuit?

Like much of American jurisprudence, this was about money. If it’s a fruit the merchant saves the tax on vegetables.

We are not alone

Some tidbits are extra tasty. Pretty much anything Neil deGrasse Tyson says is such a morsel.

In his interview with Chris Wallace, the astrophysicist asserts he would be surprised if there weren’t aliens in the universe.

Aliens come in all forms. DeGrasse Tyson doubts that the inhabitants of other worlds will look like Martian cartoons.

People immigrating into the United States are also designated as “aliens.”

Many of them are homeless; some are hopeless. There are many Americans who feel hopeless about the foreigners at our borders as well.

This is a tale of different aliens.

The earthbound ones are a part of a crisis of inhumanity.

The interstellar variety inspire hope and adventure.

Again?

Subhead: GROUNDHOG SEES HIS SHADOW

I wanted to steer clear of the second February groundhog day screeds.

Only to find out that Fred had died before making his predictions. Who was Fred? He was to Canada what Phil is to Punxsutawney** (PA). I had to say something on Fred’s behalf.

**Punxsutawney is perhaps one of the reasons I wanted to abstain from this year’s reporting. It exhausts me to spell it out or write it.

Fred was a well-loved Quebecois billed as “Fred la marmotte.”

Phil made his prediction for a prolonged winter today. Ever the contrarian, our friend from Staten Island, Chuck says it’ll be an early spring.

We will never know what Fred would have said.